Look Up: What Are We Missing?
Image: Maria Baltazzi
It was dusk as we rolled back into our campsite in Botswana after a magical afternoon at the waterhole. The setting sun lit up the silhouette of an acacia tree—an iconic African sight. Happy and relaxed, I climbed out of the truck.
“Look!” my husband whispered urgently, pointing to the branches. “A white-faced scops owl!”
My heart leapt. Owls are my favourite, and I had never seen a Scops before. Excited, I scrambled into the tent, searching for my phone to capture this once-in-a-lifetime moment. In my rush, I tripped over the tie-downs and fumbled back out.
“Where, where?” I gasped.
“You missed it,” he said quietly. “It was beautiful.”
That moment hit me hard. I’d been on a two-week digital detox, enjoying the freedom of not reaching for my phone every few minutes as I so often do at home—for my morning meditation, Zoom malls, Gmail, podcasts… endless. Out in the bush, I felt the benefits of being present. This trip was my trial run at using my phone more intentionally. And yet, when the owl appeared, instinct took over—I reached for my device instead of the moment.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, says something surprising: willpower is overrated. Successful people don’t white-knuckle through temptation; they design their environments, so the wise choice is the easy choice—what she calls situation modification.
Nowhere does this matter more than with our phones.
The Data We Can’t Ignore
Gen Z spends 6+ hours a day on their phones.
Teens average about 8 hours daily—over 50 hours a week, roughly half their waking lives. If they were in the workforce they would be paid overtime!
The “brain drain” effect: a phone in sight—even face down—lowers test performance because part of your mind is busy resisting it.
Students who study with phones farther away tend to have higher GPAs.
In the world’s largest study on social media quitting Instagram or Facebook for one month has been linked with less anxiety and depression, and more happiness.
Each reflexive reach for the phone risks not just our focus—but our lives as they unfold.
The Path Forward (Six Small shifts)
Duckworth suggests: you don’t need superhuman discipline—just smarter setups.
1Out of sight, out of mind: when focusing, put your phone in another room.
Raise your sky-to-screen ratio: when bored or anxious, step outside. Nature restores attention.
Phones off the table: especially at meals—zip them away.
Beyond arm’s reach when driving protect lives—no phone within reach.
Out of the bedroom: as Esther Perel says, if your phone is the last and first thing you caress, you’re not moving in the right direction.
Be intentional: use your phone on purpose, not by reflex—decide when and why.
The owl I missed in Botswana was a gentle teacher: life is happening right in front of us.
As Annie Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And Henry David Thoreau reminds us: “All nature is doing her best each moment to make us well. She exists for no other end. Do not resist her with the least inclination to be well.”
Call to Action — Your Turn:
Have you tried situation modification (e.g., phone in another room, Do Not Disturb, lockbox, scheduled check-ins)?
Have you done a digital detox (even for 24 hours)? What changed focus, mood, sleep, relationships?
Share your story or one small shift you’ll try this week.
Micro-challenge: Choose one of the six shifts for the next 48 hours. Notice what you gain. Then tell me—I’d love to feature a few readers reflections.
Look up. Be present. Live fully.
